by Eszter Somosvári

"In the top of the trees all those eyes follow me… All is black like the crows, stiff my neck as it bows…" But I have to go and light a candle on his grave among those blood-red flowers. How strange! I planted there white flowers, as white as his marble coffin, as pure as his love was to me, as fragile as the crystal knife which killed him in front of our house on that evil winter night.

         I remember: he travelled to the village because his sister was ill. I've been waiting for him that night but I fell asleep and it was his horrid scream which woke me up. I rushed out just to see him lying on the snow which sparkled like silver in the moonlight but was stained with blood… with his blood… There was silence, nothing seemed to move nor did I. I stood trembling because of the loss but enchanted by the beauty of his blood on the silver snow… It was strange, painful and beautiful… I fell onto my knees and screamed, then I noticed those shadows at the corner.

         I don't really know what happened to me. Now, when I recall the memory I laugh but still feel surprised how could I be so bold or so fool: I grasped the crystal knife which was wet with his blood and cut the throat of his killers one by one. God! It's so strange! I never learnt how to fight; it simply came and I saw their blood look silver in the blessing of the moon…

         So here I am - hm, I was quick - and here's his grave with the blood-red flowers. I don't know how could they change their colour. I planted whites and now all is red. Is it because he was killed? Is it because I avenged him?

         His sister said both are true and was glad and proud of me because his brother can rest in peace now, that his killers were dead. Among my husband's people there's a strange belief unfamiliar here, in my country. They say that revenge must be always done or the one who has been killed can never rest in peace but returns from the Other Side and haunts his relatives asking them to avenge him.

         Well, I don't know what experiences gave the root of this belief. I avenged my beloved, I was told he can rest in peace because I payed with the blood of his killers to the thirsty gods. Oh yeah, I did but once in every year on All Hallow's Eve he leaves the Twilight Kingdom and returns to our realm. He comes to me, I need no fire, no smoke to see him: he appears without warning and holds me in his arms. I'm sure none would believe me but it's true. He visits me and yeah, I hate the morning light which part us.

         I hate the morning light not only because of him, my once-were-husband, but also because of my lover. Yeah my lover who is as rotten as honest my husband was.

         I don't know how did it begin. I just can't remember. I never called him, he just came and became part of my life. Yesterday i didn't know him, the next day he made his lover. "A contact with the living-realm" as he used to say.

         I don't know why I'm his chosen one. Maybe because creatures like him know much more about mortal humans' heart and soul, plans and desires, passions and fights. I'm sure he knew me when I was a young wife living in happiness and love with a very-very good man. Yeah, and he could see everything that people could never notice and I hided from my man, and he felt that I'm happy but hungry for more…much more…

         And now I have two: One who died, but whose faith never dies and I'm glad when he visits me. I still love him. He's my better part, he's everything that is good and unstained in me.

         And I have him, a demon from Hell's Blazing Kingdom who gives me everything that makes ordinary man feel guilty and ashamed. He fulfills my desires and I feed this flame though I know it's dangerous and I long for the moon getting full again to open the gates before him and let him enter into my realm, my room, my…

         But what can I do now? It's Halloween: my husband will come. The moon is full: my lover will appear. Oh, I need both of them and I don't want them to meet. They would destroy each other and I'm not sure that I survive their duel. My demon would be careful enough and break my neck…

         Oh no, they won't kill each other. Anyway I don't know: Can a demon be killed by a ghost and vice versa? Anyway, demons can do strange and unexpected things and ghosts also. But God! There's only one person who will lose and that's me!

         Both of them will be disappeared because both of them think that he won me to his god. My husband thinks I serve his god, The Creator, the Lord of Heaven; while my demon' s sure that my heart belong to his Dark, Evil, Thirsty King. Only I know that I serve noone except myself. My husband is my saviour, the light and sun in my night, my childhood plans and aims. My demon is my seducer, the shadow of my days, the darkness in my night. I love my husband, yeah, with real love. And my demon? Oh, it isn't love, it's only… hm… passion. But anyway, they are alive, they will come and they will meet. What can I do?

The candle is burnt it's time to go home and wait. We'll see who comes first: clarity or darkness. Hm… It's strange that I have no fear now, my heart is empty. How can it be? Is it because of the young magician I met last night? He promised to visit me tonight…